GET YOUR HAPPY ON! - a meliorist worldview

I’ve written it before, and I will never tire of repeating it. Despite what the vast majority of humans believe, guns don’t solve problems; no problem has ever been solved with a gun.

You can shut someone up with a gun… until you turn your back. You can shoot a person preemptively, but that person’s friends will get you. You can shoot a person and all of that person’s friends, but someone else is going to hear about your killing spree and come after you. A cowboy diplomat really can’t even trust his own friends, because he knows that they’re likely to turn on him for a larger stake in the claim. About the only way, cowboy diplomacy works is if you kill everyone in a 500-mile radius, so you don’t have to worry about anyone rustling your cattle. Of course, now they have helicopters and tanks and ICBMs that can travel a lot farther than 500 miles, so the humble cowboy diplomat is screwed unless he kills everyone else but himself. “‘Cause a cow poke just can’t trust nobody no more no how, no sir!”

Aside from the fact that murder of even one person is unconscionably wrong, there is only one other problem with the Final Solution of Cowboy Diplomacy: the cowboy has no one to herd cattle for anymore, except himself. Perhaps, that is the Libertarians true goal: to live in a world without neighbors, to relive Cain’s folly.

One of the best American Westerns is The Man Who Shot Liberty Vallance. It’s Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne’s first of three pictures together. Jimmy Stewart plays a bookish, pacifistic, yella-bellied lawyer whose mission is to bring law and justice to the frontier. John Wayne’s character is a tough old cowhand who knows how to handle a gun. The two men dislike each other on sight, and the tension between them increases when J.S. steals J.W.’s girl. Oooh! Drama! Anyhow, Wayne’s role diminishes as the film progresses, and Stewart’s liberal integrity receives the accolades of the community as he attracts the attention of Liberty Valance, a really bad hombre. It becomes clear that Liberty has to die if Justice is going to take a permanent hold in the West. Not that it’s very subtle, but the death of Liberty Valance symbolizes the end of the Old West. I don’t want to spoil the film for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but a question remains.

Who really shot Liberty Vallance? It wasn’t George Bush… I mean, Ron Paul… I mean, Fred Thompson… I mean, John McCain… Sorry, I mean, Jimmy Stewart. (I don’t know what got into me!) It wasn’t John Wayne either. The man who really destroyed the “cowboy way” was Theodore Roosevelt, America’s first and only real cowboy President (and incidentally, a gun enthusiast if there ever was one). Why? Because Teddy understood that the cowboy way had to die, so that the rest of civilization could prosper. He developed conservationism so that a portion of the West that he loved would be preserved, and he bullied anti-trust reform so that monopolies would never have too great of a control on the market. Oh, how we have backslided!

I hate to say it, but we NEED a government. A nation as large and as diverse as ours needs laws and regulations — to protect us from each other and to protect us from ourselves — especially when it comes to controlling the collective and individual economic welfare of each citizen. The only way humanity will ever be able to survive in anarchy or near-anarchy with equality, dignity, and liberty for all human beings is if we evolve into a species of altruists (beings who would die before hurting one another). A Libertarian government is a terrible misnomer, because it would result in the physical slavery of hundreds of millions.

I agree with the fiscally ultra-conservative crowd on very few issues, but I do agree that we need to have a balanced budget amendment added to the Constitution and that we need to get rid of the National Debt. I don’t believe that cutting costs across the board is the only way to go about doing that. We need a compassionate and creative solution to the grand economic crisis that threatens to crash down upon us, but I don’t think we yet have all of the tools to fix that particular problem.

Be good to yourselves, my friends. Don’t give in to the easy way out. It will only ever lead to more trouble.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling really claustrophobic in the city, I would like nothing more than to enjoy the open plains of the Old West. For a bookish “pseudo-intellectual” like myself, Libertarianism seems like such a great idea on paper, because they claim to regard the philosophical pursuits more highly than any other political organization — a government of the mind and of rationale. [sigh]

Libertarianism is a bare essentials approach to government: no executive regulatory office more than what the Libertarians think America needs (the Treasury, the State Department, and the War Department… I mean, Defense Department). Because the Libertarians would have us reduce the government to almost nothing, income taxes would no longer be necessary, and it would be a lot easier to balance the budget and expunge our nation of its multi-trillion dollar debt.

Some pot smokers advocate Libertarianism, because a Libertarian government would decriminalize pot, and no government agency would exist to control the flow of marijuana anyway. War on Drugs? Over. Some anti-Keynesian economists advocate Libertarianism, because it would theoretically allow the purest form of Free Market capitalism that has existed in over a hundred years — a completely unfettered approach to acquisition and divestment. And gun lobbyists LOVE Libertarianism because those living in a nation without federal justice would be forced to fend for themselves — a gun in the hand of every man, woman, and child strong enough to hold a weapon. Maybe that sounds great after a long day of killing animated pixels in Grand Theft Auto, until you realize that we don’t live in the great Old Wild West anymore.

Thankfully, most U.S. cities have regulations against walking around with a holstered pistol, because they realized that giving everyone a gun won’t solve any problems. In fact, no problem can be solved with a gun; there will always be a better solution to any problem. It doesn’t matter the situation. At best, a gun could only delay more problems.

[WARNING: Don’t even try testing me on this one, clever contrarian. I know you think you have a hypothetical desert island scenario where a gun would be necessary, but you’re absolutely wrong. I’ve thought about this argument to endgame and checkmate. Trust me, I’m Big Blue on this one. Guns don’t solve any problems ever.]

Not that I am a big fan of the police or the FBI, but U.S. crime would rise exponentially without a federal law enforcement agency, especially in states that did not have the same resources as other states. Crime would only continue to worsen after honest people realized that there are only two ways to survive and thrive in a Libertarian country: high finance and crime. Crime will seem like the only option to anyone who is not a financial genius, and most financial geniuses will turn to crime for protection anyway. It should be no surprise that Capitalism doesn’t encourage integrity and morality.

Look at the collapsed Eastern Bloc: Russia is a nation dominated by corrupt politicians and incredibly organized criminals. When Yeltsin took over, the most notoriously oppressive regime in the world became the most lenient regime in the world, and the former oppressors (the KGB) became the Russian mafia. Without the FBI, the Secret Service, and the ATF, the criminals would take over (well, they’d gain a greater stranglehold on the populace), and then you’d either be forced to either carry a gun or pay the mafia protection money. As I’ve already stated, guns don’t solve problems, but we live in a nation with a lot of would-be cowboys who suffer from pistol envy; they are Reactionary Neo-Objectivists. Collectively, I think of them as the reincarnation of Howdy Doody — a little ginger-headed, buck-toothed puppet from the Fifties, who wore a cute little cowboy outfit. It’s pretty hard for me to take them seriously, but Cowboy Diplomacy seems to have struck a chord with a large segment of the population, so I feel obligated to illustrate why Cowboy Diplomacy doesn’t and will never work. More on why guns don’t solve problems tomorrow.

Be good to yourselves, my friends. I hope you’ve been able to stay out of the heat wherever you are.

This is something I have to get off my chest. It’s been bothering me for way too long. I lived in Dallas for five years. It’s a city that shouldn’t exist.

If it wasn’t for oil and air conditioning, Dallas wouldn’t exist. Seriously, it’s a gigantic shopping mall.  Don’t worry, I’m not crapping on Texas; I love Amarillo, Austin, Fort Worth, Lubbock, and San Antonio, but Dallas is disgusting. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more collagen injections and silicone implants than in Hollywood, and more strip clubs than in Las Vegas. It’s hard to tell the difference between the call girls and the trophy wives. It’s the city that shot JFK, and it should be no surprise that Dallas is the birthplace of “Needless Markup.”

Needless Markup is perhaps the worst store in the world. Their merchants sell gaudy and impractical goods at 200 to 500% the actual value. I can appreciate that they have a wide variety of unique and hard to find items, but doesn’t that ultimately translate as “Not Made by American Workers”? Do you really need a Faberge beer can cozy just because Jenna Hilton has the same one?

When an item has to travel thousands of miles in 10-inch thick Styrofoam containers just so that it will look fierce when held in your Gucci-manicured hands, I’d like you to ask yourself what kind of a message are you sending to future generations of consumer zombies? (“Labels. We need labels.” )

Foreign-made goods add millions of tons of carbon waste to the atmosphere when they are shipped here. Diamond hunters and precious metal miners fuel genocide and terrorism with their shady dealings. The American economy suffers when money is carelessly spent on frivolous and overpriced merchandise, when our dollars could be helping to feed families. When we rationalize our purchase with “I just had to have it!” are we doing right by our children and their children’s children? Dooming them to futures of debt slavery and landfills brimming with packaging waste?

I am convinced that no store in America is more responsible for the hyper-consumption in America than Needless Markup. They started it, but you can finish it — with your dollar votes. You have to participate in the market, right? You have to buy something if you want to eat, right? So, you might as well say something with your money.

Be good to yourselves and your pocketbooks, my friends. Buy American-made goods and American-grown produce from local shopkeepers and local farmers (not Wal-Mart!), and give back to your communities. We will all be much better off in the long run. Trust.

Economist.com sends me regular e-mail newsletters. It’s expensive, but The Economist is one of the best sources of relatively unbiased news out there. Yesterday I received the following news blurb about China:

Chinese companies are investing more abroad

AFTER 11 months of tricky negotiations, last week a subsidiary of China’s state-owned oil company, CNOOC, announced that it would buy a Norwegian oil-services firm for $2.5 billion. Foreign investment by Chinese companies has grown steadily, reaching $18.7 billion last year. But striking deals is getting harder. Since 2005, when CNOOC was blocked by the American government from buying Unocal, an American oil firm, many of China’s big state-owned companies have been wary of bidding for Western firms. And other countries are chary of China’s appetite. An estimated $40 billion of potential Chinese acquisitions are awaiting approval by Australian regulators.

Big deal, right?

Well, it could be a big deal. Amnesty International considers China one of the greatest abusers of human rights, and China is the greatest investor in our economy. Because the U.S. is the largest consumer of Chinese-manufactured products, China is essentially funding our war with Iraq so that we can continue to consume. (The Discovery Channel is airing Ted Koppel’s great 4-part documentary series on Chinese capitalism this week.)

Why is China so eager for us spend our resources though?

The blurb from Economist.com above suggest that China is a hungry dragon, but I believe the old sleeping tiger analogy is more appropriate. China is an ancient imperial civilization that knows how to wait for its prey. China keeps feeding our economy as we spend and consume, with little in the way of domestic production. One day we will consume ourselves to exhaustion, and China will be there to buy an entire nation of hungry slaves, who have become too fat and lazy to resist the tiger’s paw. And China will wipe its nose with the Bill of Rights. And who is to blame?

The downfall of the American economy can safely be lain at the feet of the lending industry, the oil industry, big corporations, OPEC, the Bush family, the Rockefellers, the Rothschilds, the Clintons, and anyone else who saw the problem and looked the other way.

I believe in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights; together they are easily in the Top 10 of humankind’s greatest achievements. For a long time, it seems like the Republicans and the Democrats have been taking massive dumps on our country, and I’m tired of it. We have to make this country great again, but the only way that is going to happen is if we stop our self-destructive hyper-consumption and start taking responsibility for our Debt — all of it.

Get involved, my friends. Contact your Congressmen! Tell them you want our economy back! Tell them to stop selling our debt to other governments!

It always amuses me when so-called “conservatives” go spouting off about “liberals.” I grew up extremely conservative with liberal parents. Think Alex P. Keaton on a mean streak. This was during my rebellious period; I thought making Republican friends was the surest way to “the Top.” (In high school, I even started a Young Republicans Club chapter, but my friends all used it as an excuse to party; I was the only one who took it seriously.)

In college, I immediately sought out Republicans like myself. I wanted to surround myself with people just like me; people who loved only two things: money and power. I quickly realized that I didn’t like these boring, haughty people and definitely didn’t like what I had become. I went on an intellectual/spiritual journey that led me to the Green Party, Buddhism, and liberal causes.

I had realized that the benefits of compassion and generosity were far greater than those associated with fear and greed, (the emotions most commonly manipulated by conservatives and Republicans). And I found that the more I cared about other people, the richer I became — spiritually, emotionally richer — and I don’t stress out about money the way most of my peers do.

I know and love many people who just happen to be Republicans — and I certainly am not claiming that I am better than them — but I certainly do feel a lot better about myself since I abandoned the traditional Republican way of thinking.

Be kind to each other, my friends. It’s a lonely world. Why make it lonelier?

Obama and the Dems need to find new and better ways to include women in this upcoming election. With the loss of Hillary Clinton as a potential Vice-Presidential candidate, Obama risks losing the votes of women over the age of 30, a huge voting bloc. Obama needs to actively include strong women in visible, important roles at every level of his campaign — and not just as token nods to female voters but as real participants.

It has been my privilege to vote in almost every local, state, and national election since I came of legal voting age. Almost every vote I have cast has been for an Independent candidate, usually the Green Party candidate when possible. No political party encapsulates the political agenda that I believe is necessary for the survival of our species and the health of our nation’s economy better than the Green Party’s platform.

One of the Green Party’s foundational principles is the Equality of All Men and Women. Defying logic, men have historically and strategically marginalized women, instead of employing all the resources of an extremely capable half of the population. In past years, I have volunteered for the Green Party and voiced the Green cause (at the consternation of friends and family).

This year is different, because I have been caught up in the wave to elect Barrack Obama. I still believe in the Green Party’s message, but I also was not a supporter of any previous Democratic candidate.

I feel that Obama is a completely different breed of politician. Many Republicans might criticize my support of a man about whom the public knows so little — as though we have to be spoon fed all of our opinions by news broadcasts. The Internet makes it easy to find out all about both Barrack Obama and John McCain, and I think I know enough.

Obama was a community activist and former constitutional law professor at the University of Chicago Law School. As a U.S. Senator, Obama had a liberal voting record, which speaks to the 21st Century vision this country needs. By contrast, McCain is a dyed-in-the-wool war hawk, who has sold Native American land rights to Arizona mining companies. Obama has not been long in the public eye, but McCain has a long track record of betraying the very principles for which he claims to stand.

As I see it, Obama is the right man for the job, but his endgame strategy needs some attention. If I were an Obama advisor, I would recommend saturating every open position in his campaign with women, Latino-Americans, and Asian-Americans — especially now that McCain is likely to choose a female running mate, in an effort to garner the support of Hillary Clinton’s crowd. Obama might want to reconsider Clinton as a running mate.

By the way, the Green Party has nominated women as both Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates.

Get ready for a bumpy ride, my friends. I wish all of you a safe voyage in these interesting times.

My handle is 8foldpath. I write as 8foldpath instead of using my real name for a number of reasons. First, I believe that my message “There are no problems; only opportunities” is more important than my identity. It wouldn’t take more than some quick cursory research to learn my name and e-mail address, as I made no effort (of which I am aware) to hide them. Second, I would like to draw more attention to the Noble Eightfold Path, which I believe is the best method to end suffering for all humankind, (not that I am the most ideal representative of Buddhism but I am trying real hard to be the Shepherd).

Many bloggers choose to use pseudonyms to protect their identities; other bloggers hide behind their online handles so that they can get away with writing statements they otherwise wouldn’t dare make in public. I have nothing to hide, and I am proud of what I write here. I want to help make the world a better place.

This morning I received my first negative comment, from a person styling him/herself as “thefirstreader.” I welcome criticism as eagerly as I accept praise — perhaps more eagerly because constructive criticism should theoretically help me improve my ability to share my message. The author had stated that I had disrespected my wife by placing a definitive article in front of my wife’s marital status. In other words, I referred to her as “the wife” instead of “my wife.”

The comment threw me for a second but maybe I was out of line. I had only meant it in a humorously casual manner, but perhaps I was too cavalier and even disrespectful toward my wife, whom I have heretofore claimed to adore. The author left a phony e-mail address, so I am unable to obtain clarification from the author on my “good ol’ boys club semantics.”

In the author’s comment, he/she claimed that I write as though I am 60+ years old. I wonder what was meant by that statement. Surely, the author wasn’t using an ageist simile, because that would be hypocritical — claiming that I was a chauvinist with one sentence and deriding older people in the next sentence, by associating them with my offense. Believe me, I have met many older people who were both cooler and more open-minded than I.

I also wonder if the person who wrote the comment finds offensive the word “the” itself. It boggles the mind: trying to get through a day without using the word “the” once; though surely it is possible. Hypothetically, let’s assume for a second that TheFirstReader abhors inappropriate use of the word “the.” Why then does the author use “the” in his/her own when he/she comments as “thefirstreader”? The first reader of all blogs? The God of the Blogosphere? Eek!

OK, OK. I’m going to stop be silly now. I’m certain that TFR was simply stating his/her objection to my distasteful reference to my wife as “the wife.” If I was being sexist, dear readers, I am sorry. Maybe my wife didn’t know that I was being a sexist pig? Praise Buddha for sending me TheFirstTeacher, I mean Grader, I mean Reader, to show me my error!

When I apologized to my wife, she laughed; dismissing me with her hand, she said an apology wasn’t necessary. In all fairness to TheFirstReader (who might have been upset before even reading my blog), my wife and I have a very similar sense of humor, but that doesn’t give me the right to abuse you (the current reader) with my nonchalant approach to discourse and rhetoric.

In my own defense, if I don’t occasionally risk offending someone, I could conceivably rob the more pugnacious among my readers of commentary-worthy blog material. I really am surprised that the almost insignificant introduction to last week’s post was the only item that stirred TFR’s ire. Even more surprising is the fact that I have received no other negative criticism, when I am clearly inviting you to dance with me.

So without further ado: McCain is a douche; Obama is Jesus walking; Heaven and Hell don’t exist; the world is going to end in 2012; the Cubs rock; the Sox suck; Republicans are lame; Democrats are slightly less lame than Republicans; gun lobbyists are murderers; humans are descended from Jurassic rodents (which must be why we crave cheese); and laughing is the best medicine. If you’re having a heart attack, chew some aspirin and call for an ambulance. Otherwise, laugh now before you have an aneurysm!

I walk a tight rope, my friends. Thank you for joining me. I love all of you, especially you unemployed gun-toting Republican smokers who think that voting for McCain will help America. I look forward to continuing this journey with you. And keep those comments coming!

Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama shared the stage Friday during a Democratic rally in Unity, New Hampshire. It was something beautiful. Broadcast live on MSNBC, Mrs. Clinton give a magnanimous speech with grace and great humor, drawing together both her supporters and Obama’s. I look forward to Obama as the next American President. We simply cannot suffer another 4 years under a Republican President.

History shows that over the past 30 years, the Republicans have taken every opportunity to put money into the pockets of the richest Americans, and in the process, the Reaganomic policies have systematically broken the backs of the hard-working middle class and stolen food from the mouths of the poorest Americans.

Barrack Obama represents real change in the American political landscape. Obama does not belong to the Clinton dynasty, and he certainly isn’t one of the Bushes. Can you feel the excitement? Can you feel the electricity?

Barrack’s arrival as President could not arrive at a more opportune time. As America’s urban populations struggle for survival, we have a man who can speak to every person in this country. And they will listen. The Reaganites disregard poor people with almost religious disdain.

Remember when Reagan told poor people who couldn’t afford vegetables to eat ketchup? Remember when the first Bush won his election with the promise not to increase taxation? I lost count of the number of lies Little Bush told to advance his harmful domestic and foreign policies.

To paraphrase Barrack Obama himself, this year’s choice between Republican and Democrat is the choice between the past and the future. The Republicans have made enough of a mess. Let’s learn from our past mistakes, and move forward with Obama. Let’s all step forward toward a more compassionate tomorrow.

I love you all very much, my friends! Take care of yourselves and each other!

Haw! Fie! Zounds, I say!

After two days of blogging about the inanity of gun violence, the Supreme Court has overturned a decades long ban on handguns in our nation’s capital , and it has me hot under the collar — so hot that I couldn’t concentrate.

I recognize the Bill of Rights seems to guarantee the right to bear arms, but hiding behind the Constitution when thousands of innocent people are getting killed by stolen guns seems foolish to me. More guns = more killings, it seems a common sense equation ignored by too many people in power. I hope and pray that this judicial decision does open the door to an even greater surge in gun violence.

I decided to get away from the news before I became even more frustrated.

I had some Netflix DVDs that I decided to take to the post office. I quickly checked CTA Bus Tracker to see when my bus (the 50 Damen) would arrive. The website informed me that it would arrive at my apartment building in 2 minutes.

Great! I thought. Just in time. I ran downstairs to catch my bus. The 50 was on time, but I wasn’t. I watched my bus sail southward right before my eyes.

No big deal. I’ll just walk to the post office, and catch a bus along the way. As I made the mile-long journey (with a jazzy glockenspiel soundtrack going in my head), two No.50 buses passed by me in the opposite direction. I am a brisk walker so I thought nothing of beating the bus to my destination.

After dropping my envelope off at the post the post office, there was no bus in sight so I immediately turned around and began walking the other way (north).

It is over 80° outside in Chicago right now; it is sunny and humid, so I was sweating a little bit. It takes a lot of energy to move around someone my size, so I was getting a little hungry too. I wasn’t wearing my sunglasses or sunscreen. As another southbound No.50 passed me going the opposite direction, I started getting a little worried about skin and eye cancer.

I walked two miles before seeing a bus heading my way, and by that time I had already arrived back at my apartment building.

I left the apartment building to get rid of my frustration with a power walk, and I just picked up more frustration along the way. Life is full of irony.

The only sure-fire method of eliminating frustration that I have found is a two part method: surrendering to the will of the Universe (or the will of God, if you prefer), and meditating with an empty mind. The method takes years of practice to master; however, meditation at the beginner level is surprisingly easy.

Be easy on yourselves and each other, my friends. The world is hard enough. There is no sense in making harder.

Continuing with yesterday’s theme, I feel obliged to write more about Chicago’s gun violence. Every day more people become victims of violent crime. Often gang members perpetrate territorial drive-by shootings that result in collateral damage, murdering innocent bystanders whose proximity to the intended targets put them in harm’s way.

Monday night, an assassination attempt hospitalized Josue Torres, an 8-year old boy who was in the same vehicle as his alleged gang member parents; the intended likely target (Josue’s step-father) was uninjured.

Tuesday, Chicago’s police superintendent Jody Weis told reporters that Josue’s near death was clearly “the parent’s fault.” Weis believes that the parents’ gang activities was directly responsible for their child’s injury.

As cold as it may seem, I have to agree with Weis, Chicago’s top cop. The parents’ fault is implicit if they are/were involved in gang activity. “Live by the sword, die by the sword.” Common sense, right?

Are you familiar with the concept of Karma, dear readers?

Many people equate Karma with luck, but that is a vulgar misinterpretation.

In Sanskrit, Karma translates as “action.” Every thing you do or don’t do is Karma. Positive deeds are good Karma, just as negative activities are bad Karma.

One’s Karma has an immediate effect in the world, and one’s Karma always returns. It is as certain as the first observation of gravity — “What comes up must come down.”

If one has good Karma, one will benefit from the kindness of others. When one has bad Karma, others will harm that person.

Josue’s gang member parents have unfortunately incurred Karma’s swift retribution. I feel very sorry for them. They must not have known about how Karma works. Josue and his family need our thoughts and our prayers, so that his parents may turn a new leaf and rescue their child from future danger.

Be good to each other, my friends.