GET YOUR HAPPY ON! - a meliorist worldview

I have noticed that some folks on other blogs have labeled me a spambot, and it has me rather confused. Isn’t a spambot an autonomous worm-like program that spammers use to leave advertising in e-mails and on comment billboards?

Am I a spambot simply because my liberal opinions rankle the embittered spirits of the anti-ACLU crowd? Sometimes, I get a spam filter thrown at my firewall, even when I visit friendly sites. Curiouser and curiouser.

Blogging has really been an interesting journey for me. When I have had the free time, I have gotten to share my opinions in a somewhat open forum. In semi-Kantian fashion, my thoughts will (in some imperceptibly small way) help shape others’ thoughts. I wonder if I’m doing enough though. As we leave behind the first failed American Presidency of the 21st Century, the U.S. needs to learn how to embrace a forward-thinking approach to problem solving; we need to embrace change and possibility — rather than cling to untenable safety.

Otherwise, I fear that so-called “conservatives” may find themselves rattling their burdensome chains like displaced Jacob Marleys, as they plead with future generations to learn from their socio-economic and geo-political indiscretions. (I’ve just been all over the map with the literary allusions in this post, folks. My ADD must have gotten the better of me today.)

Be good to yourselves, my friends. Forgive yourselves your pasts — you can’t change them — but don’t stand in the way of your children’s future. Why would you want to fix the problems of today with solutions that have never worked in the past? When I see the Children of Tomorrow in my mind’s eye, I don’t see them running around in a polluted world filled with casinos and guns. I see happy faces in a world of love, generosity, harmony, and peace. Be good!

So, folks, I’m getting put through the ringer here by an anonymous commenter TFR. He/she is writing some thought provoking stuff too. Clearly, nothing I’ve been writing here is going to win me a Pulitzer. I’m just sharing my thoughts, which would otherwise rattle around inside my brain like a pinball. I write extemporaneously and from the heart (either before or after long work days and little sleep), but I really appreciate what the commenter has to say. And I hope TFR continues to be a loyal reader and commenter.

That having been noted, I don’t think the commenter has much of a sense of humor and probably has a habit of taking things out of context (typical of these armchair pundits), but I still appreciate what TheFirstRazzer is trying to tell me.

I need to step up my game. Considering that I’ve only been writing these blogs for a month now, I think I’ve been doing pretty well. Hemingway only wrote 500 words a day, and my blogs are only a small portion of what I diurnally commit to paper. Orwell wrote that he wouldn’t write if he knew of a better way to expell the demons that plagued him; that’s sort of how I feel. Still, I’m not Hemingway, and I’m definitely not Orwell. Nope, I’m just a shlub with literary logorrhea.

TheFirstReader is doing a great job of keeping me on my toes, because I really do need to be more serious about some of my blog entries here. I wrote a weekly column for my college newspaper, and I’ve been out of practice writing for the public. Yet, my readership is growing, and I appreciate all of your interest and curiosity. I have no intention of boring you (but I do want to waste your time).

One of the secrets to long-lasting happiness is learning how to let go of the past and appreciate the moment. Chögyam Trungpa , one of my favorite meditation teachers, said that the goal of meditation was to waste time. The path itself is the goal! Wrap your mind around that one, dear readers!

Blogging is a great experience, but it’s also dangerous. I have left myself and my ego exposed, and I actively court all comers to take their best shots at my thoughts. I would not be able to do this if I held onto and fed my ego. One must sublimate through meditation and prayer.

I wonder why TFR compares my even-tempered joyful approach to life (in the face of troubled economic times and vast global devastation) with the attitude of a “middle school girl.” I hate to sound reproachful, but don’t teenage women have enough problems without comparing them to me?

My happiness extends from an inner peace that I have found through years of soul searching, meditation, community activism, and repairing the years of bad karma I had accumulated earlier in my life. My goal is a permanent sense of self-contentment, but in truth, I can never be truly content as long as there is suffering in the world. Right now, I hope to find some solace in the fact that I have tried and that I will continue to offer my message.

This life is precious. Each moment is precious. My friends, don’t waste your few fleeting moments with anger and negative emotion. Don’t curse others for “wasting your time.” Thank them! Be good to yourselves and each other. I love all of you very much, especially you TheFirstReader… if that is your real name. [insert dramatic music]

I will be on vacation in rural Kentucky for a week. I will try to find access to a computer. Please wish me luck on locating a broadband connection.

My handle is 8foldpath. I write as 8foldpath instead of using my real name for a number of reasons. First, I believe that my message “There are no problems; only opportunities” is more important than my identity. It wouldn’t take more than some quick cursory research to learn my name and e-mail address, as I made no effort (of which I am aware) to hide them. Second, I would like to draw more attention to the Noble Eightfold Path, which I believe is the best method to end suffering for all humankind, (not that I am the most ideal representative of Buddhism but I am trying real hard to be the Shepherd).

Many bloggers choose to use pseudonyms to protect their identities; other bloggers hide behind their online handles so that they can get away with writing statements they otherwise wouldn’t dare make in public. I have nothing to hide, and I am proud of what I write here. I want to help make the world a better place.

This morning I received my first negative comment, from a person styling him/herself as “thefirstreader.” I welcome criticism as eagerly as I accept praise — perhaps more eagerly because constructive criticism should theoretically help me improve my ability to share my message. The author had stated that I had disrespected my wife by placing a definitive article in front of my wife’s marital status. In other words, I referred to her as “the wife” instead of “my wife.”

The comment threw me for a second but maybe I was out of line. I had only meant it in a humorously casual manner, but perhaps I was too cavalier and even disrespectful toward my wife, whom I have heretofore claimed to adore. The author left a phony e-mail address, so I am unable to obtain clarification from the author on my “good ol’ boys club semantics.”

In the author’s comment, he/she claimed that I write as though I am 60+ years old. I wonder what was meant by that statement. Surely, the author wasn’t using an ageist simile, because that would be hypocritical — claiming that I was a chauvinist with one sentence and deriding older people in the next sentence, by associating them with my offense. Believe me, I have met many older people who were both cooler and more open-minded than I.

I also wonder if the person who wrote the comment finds offensive the word “the” itself. It boggles the mind: trying to get through a day without using the word “the” once; though surely it is possible. Hypothetically, let’s assume for a second that TheFirstReader abhors inappropriate use of the word “the.” Why then does the author use “the” in his/her own when he/she comments as “thefirstreader”? The first reader of all blogs? The God of the Blogosphere? Eek!

OK, OK. I’m going to stop be silly now. I’m certain that TFR was simply stating his/her objection to my distasteful reference to my wife as “the wife.” If I was being sexist, dear readers, I am sorry. Maybe my wife didn’t know that I was being a sexist pig? Praise Buddha for sending me TheFirstTeacher, I mean Grader, I mean Reader, to show me my error!

When I apologized to my wife, she laughed; dismissing me with her hand, she said an apology wasn’t necessary. In all fairness to TheFirstReader (who might have been upset before even reading my blog), my wife and I have a very similar sense of humor, but that doesn’t give me the right to abuse you (the current reader) with my nonchalant approach to discourse and rhetoric.

In my own defense, if I don’t occasionally risk offending someone, I could conceivably rob the more pugnacious among my readers of commentary-worthy blog material. I really am surprised that the almost insignificant introduction to last week’s post was the only item that stirred TFR’s ire. Even more surprising is the fact that I have received no other negative criticism, when I am clearly inviting you to dance with me.

So without further ado: McCain is a douche; Obama is Jesus walking; Heaven and Hell don’t exist; the world is going to end in 2012; the Cubs rock; the Sox suck; Republicans are lame; Democrats are slightly less lame than Republicans; gun lobbyists are murderers; humans are descended from Jurassic rodents (which must be why we crave cheese); and laughing is the best medicine. If you’re having a heart attack, chew some aspirin and call for an ambulance. Otherwise, laugh now before you have an aneurysm!

I walk a tight rope, my friends. Thank you for joining me. I love all of you, especially you unemployed gun-toting Republican smokers who think that voting for McCain will help America. I look forward to continuing this journey with you. And keep those comments coming!

For Father’s Day, I gave a my dad a Garmin GPS system for his car and a Gourmet Magazine cover featuring the photo of a mouth-watering pulled pork sandwich (which I had framed for him). I also made a card for my dad, using watercolor on scrap paper.

The scene I painted was of a simple meadow path that diminished in perspective as it approached the horizon. I titled the card, “The Path.” Inside, I wrote

“…is often more important than the Goal itself. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DAD! Thank you for helping us walk ours. Much love.”

practicing a little caligraphy with my brush.

A pretty good gift, right? Maybe a little cheesy, but it was heartfelt and my dad loved it.

A few minutes ago, I went online to read some Father’s Day headlines.

What news item should surface?

Twenty-three year old Meghan McCain is publishing a children’s book about her father. OK, OK. I know, it’s a little saccharin, but I decided to take the bite. A summary of the book reads like a lost gospel. (Maybe Chriss Angel and John McCain can do a “Walking on Water” extravaganza as a lead-up to November.)

Next I followed the link to Ms. McCain’s blog. The Blogettes read like faux-Sex in the City advertisements on the Republican campaign trail; it’s successfully lame and pathetic at the same time, (which is a real waste of talent: these are clearly intelligent albeit misguided women).

Scrolling halfway down the page, I read that Meghan (a supposedly famous Independent) had decided to officially register as a Republican in support of her father — sort of a Father’s Day gift — and now I admit, I was impressed. John McCain must want to win the Oval Office pretty badly if he’d be willing to let his daughter sell her soul like that.

Be good to your fathers today, my friends. We need them a heck of a lot more than they need us.

Good night! And God bless all of you!

Sometimes… after a full, productive day, I like to come home and blog my thoughts, thereby expelling the detritus that the media plants in my head. Not only is it an incredibly cathartic experience, but AAAhhh! it makes swallowing the s.o.s.d.d. so much more pleasant.

So, do yourself a favor: Don’t let the thought police win! Get your memes out there! And start a blog today!