Jul 07 2008
A Few Words on the Subject of Flatulence
Dear readers, please learn from my mistakes.
For example, if you are not used to eating a particular item, don’t overindulge regardless of how delicious the exotic food item might be.
If you are new to Indian or Thai food, you might want to go easy on the vindaloo or the green curry respectively. If you are in certain foreign countries, you might be wary when imbibing the local tap water.
If, as it was in my case, you have been on a low-fat diet for months and have been offered delectable culinary treats straight out of the Paula Dean cookbook, go very slow. The tastiest, most sumptuous treats can often agitate a tender stomach, and deep fried catfish and hush puppies are high on the list of purgatives — a fact that I knew and ignored!
I thought, I used to eat this stuff all the time. No big deal. It’ll be just like olden times.
Wrong! I have looked into the face of the devil, and her dark sacraments are butter, corn oil, cream, lard, and sugar. She seems pudgy and friendly, but be warned, my friends, Paula Dean is a dangerous woman.
After gorging myself on the delicious buffet offerings a cousin had prepared, I have been suffering with three days of bad gas (to put it mildly). And for what? To share in a moment of conviviality that later made me look very foolish in the eyes of my family? That was a bad karma moment for me, folks. Lesson learned! (Maybe…)
Be kind to your bodies, my friends. It’s as important to be as good to yourselves, as you are to others. Moderation is the key.
